If someone gave me a magic wand that I could use to solve any
marketing issue my subscribers and customers faced, what would
that issue be?
Only one comes to mind. I suspect it was the same issue fifty
years ago and would be the same issue fifty years from now.
That issue is "Fear of People."
Nothing holds people back from growing their business more than
that. I see this issue reflected in every problem or concern people
face when marketing their services.
Here are four of the most common instances:
Writing
People are afraid what others will think of their writing. They are
afraid it won't be good enough, and that they'll be ridiculed if it
doesn't meet the standards for the Pulitzer Prize.
Speaking
It's almost a cliche that the biggest fear people have is speaking
in front of groups. You'd think, from the hesitation, that speaking
was as dangerous as facing a firing squad.
Networking
Meeting new people can sometimes be fun, but often it doesn't
feel very safe to us. Meeting strangers and sharing ourselves
often feels scary and risky and therefore easy to avoid.
Calling
Picking up the phone to follow-up with someone you've met, or
God-forbid, someone you've never met, triggers feelings of
cowardice in the bravest of people.
Notice that these fears are all connected to communicating with
other people. They are all about putting your message in front of
others. There is only one conclusion: We are afraid of people.
Until we face this truth and deal with it, marketing is never going
to be a lot of fun, or very productive, for that matter. Marketing is
going to be an ordeal when we imagine judgment, rejection and
ridicule at every turn.
Notice that I said "imagine."
For the most part, these horrors of being judged, rejected and
ridiculed are just that - imagination. If they are not real, why do
they *feel* so real to us?
Short answer: Something happened when you were a kid.
When you were very young, life was full of magic and possibilities.
You could imagine anything and do everything. You were the
master of your little universe and things were very good.
But then that thing happened. Some big kid beat you up; you
tried selling something to the neighbors and they weren't
interested; you weren't allowed to join a club; somebody called
you a name.
Way back then, the judgment, rejection, and ridicule were very
real. You tried, expected success, and failed. And it felt bad. So
you told yourself something to protect yourself:
"I don't want to play anyway."
"I'll never ask anybody to do anything."
"I'll always play it safe and not get hurt."
What we tell ourselves in a moment of intense emotion tends to
stick - not for just a few days, but often for a lifetime. We find
ourselves arranging our lives to avoid any kind of judgment,
rejection or ridicule.
Bad news if your livelihood depends on communicating to others
about what you can offer them!
The funny thing is, we blame the bad feelings on marketing and
selling, as if they were out to get us! "Marketing is hard, bad,
manipulative, slimy and unethical. And besides, there's no time
to do it and it really doesn't work anyway!!"
With a firmly entrenched mindset that is structured to avoid
marketing and selling at all costs, it's easy to see why we don't do
well with it. Many barely get by in their businesses. Others fail
completely, unable to effectively "put themselves out there."
"OK, Robert, I get it! But what can I do about it? How can I stop
being run by my fears of people?"
I plan to expand on this in next week's issue, but I'll share a few
things now for you to consider:
One, if you are afraid of people, how do you think most people
feel about you? They are afraid of you. Little ol' you. Deathly
afraid that you'll judge, reject and ridicule them. If you really see
the truth of that, something may shift for you.
Two, the you that is afraid of being judged, rejected and ridiculed
isn't you. It's you as a five, six or seven year old. Would you
accept this advice from a child: "Be afraid of everyone so you
don't get hurt." Of course not.
Three, ask yourself: "If I could no longer be afraid of marketing
myself, who would I be instead?" Would you be courageous,
inspiring, and someone who makes a difference? If you knew you
had that choice (and you do), what would you choose?
*
The More Clients Bottom Line: Fear of people is a big factor that
holds us back from effective marketing. It keeps us small, it
prevents us from making the difference we could. The thing to
get is that the fear is no longer real. It's doesn't have to have a
grip on you any longer. It's time to move on to bigger things.
By Robert Middleton of Action Plan Marketing. Please visit
Robert's web site at www.actionplan.com for additional
marketing articles and resources on marketing for professional
service businesses.
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